Over 18 million children in our country are growing up in homes with only a Mother ( YES I googled it.) Those Mamas are killing it. Sure there are single Dad households too , in fact the handful of adults I know that were raised only by Dads are some of the most incredible people. That is not what we are talking about but it can't go unmentioned. But with so many children being raised Fatherless, be it physically or emotionally, the connection to current hurt of this country is very much connected. When I look at the adults in my life that are loving and kind and servant hearted people- the continuous Father figure in their lives is very evident.
I am grateful every day that after 10 years of Marriage and almost 9 years as a Mother that battle of single parenthood is not one that our family has faced. My husband may be away often for his career serving this great country but he talks to his babies every chance he has. He is an important part of their lives. These kids have a Father that knows and loves them with every fiber of his being. Are we perfect ? Absolutely not. We see the world very differently from one another and often joke we have just about nothing in common- but we do Love each other and these little humans we are raising.
After 9 months without their Father physically present, the emotional scars become fairly obvious. The restlessness nights normally hit around halfway through, maybe later if we are lucky . Anxiety over little things comes over the oldest. A constant state of weariness lies underneath even the most joyful and fun filled days we experience just the four of us. We are broken and lost even when we want to declare our strength and independence with the " WE CAN DO THIS " attitude. The truth is that we can't. Our family anchor is missing and without it we're just floating in a wavy sea .
The other night we were in a hotel while traveling and the toddler woke up screaming like someone was ripping her appendages off , as they do, and nothing would calm her down. Our kids are not ones to love bed sharing or snuggling to sleep so nights on the road are tough ( read: exhausting ) But as she woke up a screaming an irrational mess at 2 am, her Father picked her up , held tight, and laid down to sleep with her wrapped around his neck . Immediately her emotions settled and she fell fast asleep in total peace- for the rest of the night!
I literally laid there watching the two of them sleep just in awe ( and not just because she was finally quiet PRAISE YOU LORD ) . But isn't that the perfect picture of our Heavenly father though? It is the gospel right in the middle of the night in a foreign place with an irrational toddler.
As humans and sinners we tend to often become irrational. Whether we've known the Lord our whole lives, are new believers, or are just curious about what a life with Christ even looks like... we can easily let emotions and irrational feelings take over. It's kind of part of this whole living as humans on earth thing. Feelings that are not grounded in truth but in the lies the world feeds to us. Feelings like
" You aren't good enough "
"They have it easier than we do! "
" I may never sleep a full night again! "
" If only I made as much money as they did ."
" You will always be the Mom who yells. "
" I'm too out of shape to belong at the gym "
" School is just too hard for me "
" If only I had a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife . No one will ever Love me "
" Must be nice to have no kids and the freedom to ____ "
This list could actually go on for eternity. But it's all lies. The good news? Whether we have accepted him as Holy or not, we all have a Heavenly Father that sees us and knows us and LOVES US more than any lie the world ( or let me apologize for the Christian-ese but - the enemy )wants us to believe. Our heavenly Father is that warm cozy hug in the middle of a completely irrational midnight panic attack that is there to remind us everything is going to be alright- because HE is in control of our mess. He gives us peace and stillness so that we can finally rest once we lay it all down.
For those 18 million children living without a Father or the countless millions without Father's that lead well, there really is hope. Even for those WITH wonderful Dad's... our creator is somehow even more. There is hope for all of us and the only requirement for that peace and comfort of the perfect Father is found when we just simply give our lives to him. When we accept the fact that he sent his only son to earth, to live a perfect life, so that we do not have to. His perfect son then died on a wooden cross after the most horrific abuse where he then rose to heaven and is seated next to his Father, our Father. All of this was done just so that our sins can be forgiven. This my friends is literally the hope of the world. It is what the season of Lent is all about. We are remembering the sacrifice taken for all of us. Remembering that there is hope of that warm hug of peace that can finally bring us rest, especially in a life that may feel like emotional chaos at 2 am.
How do we seek him? In HIS word - the bible . In HIS people. In HIS bride- the local church. In prayer.
If you are struggling right now in an emotional temper tantrum at 2 am ...I mean not actually but if you ACTUALLY are that's cool too.. seek him . Whether you know the Lord well or not all , seek him. The eternal love of our Father is unrelenting and never failing and is truly all that WILL bring us peace.
Ok that is all I have.
XOXO
B
PS. I missed three days of writing and plan to catch up somehow ;) SO many thoughts and thankfully SO much time.
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