All of these fears are what keep me from writing for others to read. So I committed to Christ that if we can honor his life-death-and resurrection during the season of Lent I will do what he’s asked and write each day. It can’t be that hard right ? If we are living in Christ all of our producing fruit should be good .
Proverbs 3:9-10 reads
Honor the LORD from your wealth and from the first of all your produce; So your barns will be filled with plenty And your vats will overflow with new wine.
When we give to the Lord first our life will be overflowing with abundance. NEW WINE. Scripture speaks repeatedly about this across both the old and new testaments.
Here I am making the tiniest sacrifice of writing each day through Lent and that can't even be kept up. Instead I find myself in bed on my iPhone at 10pm after scrolling social media trying to remember all that came to me throughout the day- and guess what? I am drained. Completely empty.
But I can say tonight I realize exactly what He was trying to show me. What are we putting first? Maybe you read the bible first thing in the morning every single day - Awesome! But where else is your heart going throughout the day. Are we as Moms becoming too tired trying to do everything and JUST keep our heads above water ? What if we gave our first fruits, or the best of us, to the people God has gifted us right under our own roof?
What does it mean to ' Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'? To me this is the picture of loving our people well. Our first fruits each day should be spent loving our spouses and our children- yes even when it's hard. If all we are giving them is the equivalent of the 10pm post facebook scroll then it is NOT enough. Unfortunately this pace of life seems to be going no where fast. Everyone around us needs a meal made, a birthday party attended to, help with a craft, some photos done, an extra work event, a ministry opportunity, an FRG gathering, a party planned, some advice on parenting, E.T.C. you guys... but what are we putting FIRST? Do we set our own boundaries here or even give it thought?
For me this pace has crept up just in two years and I have slowly watched it happen. There are SO many good things that 'need' us, and they sure WANT our best fruit , but we need to evaluate where our 'best' is going otherwise no one is getting our good stuff. In fact when we try to give our best selves to every single thing we just end up like that rotten apple core lingering in the van that no one can find. It smells horrible you guys and it's not sweet for anyone.
So basically this is me saying I am totally bombing this writing everyday thing. But when I do sit down to pour it all out it's really teaching me ...which I'm sure was the point all along. It's ok to fully fail at things. In fact we are made to fail at things continuously as a reminder that Christ himself was the only human that ever did ALL the things perfectly. Just him and never another. We are just messy humans desperately in need of a savior , friends.
Tonight I am considering my first fruit as I lay here feeling like that old forgotten apple in the Van. Where is the good sweet stuff going? Who deserves the best version of me, besides the Lord of course, and where are the boundaries set otherwise.
xoxo
B
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