I can't help but think back to the disappointment of last year after working so hard to finally qualify, with a few minutes to spare, and then coming up short for registration since the race had the biggest qualifying to acceptance gap yet. For a solid day I kept wondering why, asking God what this was all about. He showed me that the training process wasn't for selfish gains but for the community he built around me because of it. Because of the people he inspired in the process and the work on my own heart that needed to be done. Within a couple days I felt like it really did make sense and the disappointment really washed away to be honest. I mentioned here in the fall but because of not saving up money for Boston or a Trip out for Grandma, we ended up going last minute to the Final year of the Soldier marathon( spoiler alert: it ended up NOT being the final year after all hahaha! We serve a FUNNNy God y'all ) The race was incredible and again it ALL MADE SENSE.
Here we are the week before I would have been lining up in Hopkinton. I would have probably been anxiously packing my bags while tapering for the big day. I would have been SOOOO pumped up to be there the year Shalane attempts to finally take the Gold as the fastest American woman right in her hometown . But instead I am sitting here in total peace with the sun-shining through to my computer listening to the snow quickly melt from the roof, like raindrops on a sunny day. I'm reflecting on all of the things that have happened this spring that 100% would not have happened had I been training for Boston.
1. I would have probably quit my board position in our military community ministry ( PWOC ) to focus on my intense training this spring.
2. Instead of enjoying our spring trip to Arizona I would have been spent the days running for speed instead of pleasure.
3. I NEVER ever would have taken on leading a study for said ministry , meaning many of the friendships I've made there may have never happened?
4. Had I not said YES to leading that study, my dear sweet friend Tina wouldn't have joined me in leading it.
5. Had she not joined me in leading, we would have not witnessed the quick and powerful salvation and literal " COME TO JESUS " moment and baptism of a dear sister-in-Christ of ours.
6. We definitely would have never written a book on photography together or held a photography workshop for Moms.
7. I would have spent the past months stressed and anxious about finding time and place to train during one of the snowiest winters in Fairbanks .
8. Both my husband and children would be missing the opportunity to experience my first Boston Marathon with me, simply because Alaska is TOO far away.
9. My proud heart would have never been humbled in the process.
10. I would be leaving my family one of the last weekends we have together until 2019.
This list is just a few examples of the PLANS God had for me right here where he wanted me. To lay aside my pride and listen to him, it's not what I planned but what HE knew was ahead all along.
So , as many have asked, I don't sit here sad or having FOMO for the big day of Boston next weekend. In fact- I am really filled with joy that my plans were a big fat failure. They always are right? Instead I am sitting here in the quiet of nap time registering for a fun local 5k this weekend with some of Fairbanks finest Mamas , a 5k that I definitely won't even PR at.
What about next year? Well technically I did already qualify for 2019 but not with a time that is solid enough. I had a very strong conviction during the Soldier's Marathon that until my family, or at least my husband, can be with me there is no reason to experience something so special. So far as we kick off this season back outdoors my pace is a little quicker than last year distance wise so SURE there is a good chance of a new marathon PR this fall. Spring of 2019 will be very unknown for our family with PCS season ( moving for you civilians ) and homecomings so a Boston Race for 2019 even if I run well this year is really up on the air ! One day I will get these feet to Boylston street without a doubt in my mind, my prayer now is that it happens on HIS terms not my own.
I can not WAIT to watch THE Boston Marathon from my couch next Monday , I'll probably make some of my favorite RUN FAST EAT SLOW recipes while cheering on Shalane Flanagan to a victory for all of us .
This mural in Phoenix at the Runner's Den was such an inspiration.
-B
PS. My whole business is getting a revamp this summer when my entire plate of responsibilities becomes my own once again - I can not WAIT to share more with you all. This is just a start. I am STILL currently not taking photography clients either so if you are needing someone let me know.. I have a girl ;)
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