Over the past 6 years the makeup of me has been slowly transforming. I went from not even knowing who Jesus was ( REALLY ) to throwing my all into a relationship with him and his people . As I look back over these years of parenting littles, moves, deployments, etc. I can clearly see how he has been working on my heart through so many unique ways. Picking up a camera was one of them for sure, it's the reason this space is called BELIEVE studio and not " Brittany T Photography" because it was never supposed to be that. It was always a way to share his work with others and for a little while that meant photographing anyone and everything that came in my path- it's going to look a lot different in the future once I get balanced on two feet. Over that time he has carried me from a " can't run a mile" 20-something to a first time marathoner as a mother of two to a TWO time Boston qualifying marathoner and mother of 3! I have encountered some of the deepest and most life giving friendships in that time and learned to let go of others that were hurtful and life draining. The journey of motherhood hasn't been easy either but it has been beautiful and as I tucked my big boys in tonight and we said prayers I was in tears at their grateful and growing hearts.
Two seasons are really changing for me and I want to talk about both here but for tonight I want to focus on running ( you're shocked right!?! )
If you're friends with me personally, which pretty much anyone taking the time to read this is, you know that I recently ran the Soldier Marathon which is my favorite race. There were so many layers to this year it's a little difficult to unpack to be honest... this is why I haven't sat down to write! But I will try.
The first time I ran this course was with one of my favorite people and dear friend while we lived in Alabama. We ran the half marathon together and it was my first half marathon pregnant as I was 23 weeks along with kiddo #2! The following year I felt lead to my first full marathon in honor of the families of recent fallen aviators we knew from flight school. My heart broke, is still broken, for them and it's literally the only thing I could think to do that year. Training during a deployment with two babies wasn't easy but I felt it 100% necessary. Each year whenever we could make it to this race we did because year after year we had more people to honor and more reason to run.
When we moved to Alaska I heard about this group of Moms that worked out together that was starting up so of course I had to check it out. At this point I had been running almost daily with a double stroller for 5 years only acquiring a couple mother runner friends along the way .I met the soon-to-be owner and we quickly chatted running adventures realizing that in 2014 we both ran the Soldier half marathon. Long story short we not only both ran it but we finished within seconds of each other along with her best running friend ( who I actually ended up running with THIS year ) I'm sure God looks back at that and just giggles. It's hilarious that he totally knows what he's doing and just takes his sweet time to show us. So here we are in Alaska in 2016 and this group of Moms becomes my people. That same Mom asked me to do photography work ( insert another AHA moment on the big picture ) for this business she was starting here Stroller Strong Moms Fairbanks. It's a nationwide organization she was part of in Georgia and was fearlessly bringing this community to a town she just KNEW needed it. Boy was she right! My answer was of course yes and since day one I have loved working out with these ladies but more importantly just doing this Mom life with them! There is a bond formed when you sweat with others that can't be recreated. Watching these women set goals and crush them, run first half marathons, lift heavy things, raise kind kiddos, give orphans a forever home, transform their own lives, etc. it's just truly changed me. Without it I would have never been motivated to tackle the year I just did.
We set a goal on one of the last stroller strong classes of 2016 . It was real cold and too many feet of snow for any normal person in the lower 48. I think 4 of us showed up and 3 of them had to push my van out of the deep snow that day. But that day to just those few Mamas I first said " I want to qualify for Boston. "
( skip this section if you're SO TIRED of hearing about my toes. I know me too. )
Fast forward to January 2nd. Two of my toes had started turning grey after a long winter run and had slowly lost all feeling and turned black over a weeks time so I - against my will- went back to the hospital just to be safe. Immediately panic went across all of the medical staff as they brought everyone in to " TAKE A LOOK!" They informed me that I needed to be prepared to loose 2 possibly 3 of my toes and booked me with the surgeon the following day. I was placed in a boot and crutches. This was very practical with my husband leaving the next day for training and a 6 month old that needed carried everywhere! Thankfully the surgeon wanted to wait a week and see how keeping pressure off of it helped. As I was obviously forced out of any running I decided to use our gym's pool while the kiddos played at the childcare, I couldn't run so swimming was the next best endurance activity. It felt so great to move in that pool and just work out all of the negative thoughts that had filled my head during that time. The real healing, however, came when I got out of that pool. The black layers of skin literally just began pealing off and underneath were perfectly healthy fresh toes with no damage. I sobbed and sobbed, texted everyone I knew the pictures, and couldn't explain it any way besides holy healing water! Each day I returned and swam more laps before removing more and more dead tissue. A week later I returned to that same surgeon when he wanted to schedule possible amputation . He removed my boot off and was in complete shock. Before I knew it all of the same medical staff surrounded me and no one had any explanation for what they saw... perfectly healthy TOES! I walked out of there without crutches, a boot, or any follow up appointments.
I remember feeling like God told me in that moment, TRUST me. Give me what you have this year and trust me. So I did. I mean he gave me a second shot with my toes how could I not?
I took a huge leap and stepped into women's ministry this spring using the gifts given to me with design and photography. It hasn't been easy but I've trusted him and he has transformed my heart 100% through this.
Once the snow started melting I got foot to pavement again. I found a race to qualify for, trained throughout the summer and - by his grace -did it! You can read my last post all about that. During that training I found God in every mile. I saw his glory in the early sunrises, his people surrounded me through community, I found a new love for podcasts to listen to on training runs that pointed me directly to his word. My simple act of running wasn't about being faster or better than anyone else it was about glorifying God and just trusting him in the process. When submitting this season to the lord it truly became effortless.
" but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
August I ran my first Boston Qualifying marathon in 3:32:34 in Anchorage Alaska.
September I finished ( ran is an overstatement ) the Equinox Trail marathon here in Fairbanks- one of the most challenging courses in the world- in 4:39:49. By far one of my favorite runs yet because of the people and incredible course.
November I ran my second Boston Qualifier at the Soldier marathon in Columbus Georgia - according to my GPS watch in 3:32:01 but their course distance was off .3 mile and clocked it in at about 3:34 . Finished the final year of this race on the podium with a first place in my age group. By far the most proud moments of my running career... I doubt anything will beat that for me to be honest.
Those last 26.2 miles around Fort Benning Georgia really changed my thoughts. I realized that this running thing has nothing to do with running but has everything to do with God's purpose for my life. He wanted to show me that YES when I trust him I can do big things but reaching these running goals are just the tip of the iceberg . It's just a small peak at his faithfulness in what is ahead in this journey through life. As I ran that course and was missing my kiddos back home in Alaska I realized that I never want to run the Boston Marathon until they can all be there celebrating with me ! Why spend all that money and effort to get to this once-in-a-lifetimg ( ok maybe a couple times for some) but without my support team by my side. Why not wait until my daughter is old enough to tell the story of when she watched her Mama run THE Boston marathon? I may very well continue at this pace and qualify again but there is so much comfort knowing it's just not the right time , not yet.
Our weekend in Georgia just filled up my cup... race or not. My Mom so bravely held down our fort and the kids had a blast with her in Alaska. We got to catch up with friends that moved from Fairbanks to Georgia last year, I got to meet tons of Columbus Stroller Strong Mamas and watch them crush their own goals, and really just ate a whole lot of chipotle in the sunshine. I couldn't have asked for anything more!
Fairbanks Stroller Strong MOMS SLAMing in Georgia
Pre race fun!
First Marathon this year was with Anchorage SLAMers, Second of the year was with my Fairbanks Mamas, and final with the Columbus SLAM. What a gift to have this community from one coast to the other.
One of my dear friends, first Alaska friend, and neighbor. She also set a new 5k PR WITH a back injury. Love this girl
I heart MY soldier
This is WHY this race matters
Action shot around mile 8
Finishing strong, sore , but strong !
So happy to see this Mama at the finish line. She beat her 5k goal by 8 minutes? I was blessed to photograph her twice in Fairbanks and of course SLAM with her too!
My Arizona girl. One of my first Alaska friends that also comes form AZ and her heart is just made of gold, she's grown into such a strong leader and fast boy-mama. Miss you already friend!
Totally unexpected. To go from my first Marathon here and now finish my 7th over 20 minutes faster and taking first place. Truly and honor.
I feel like I just mic dropped myself. Like...that's it ! The work here is done. Everyone keeps asking me what is next and to be honest I have zero goals next year personally as far as running goes . My heart is really set on helping more Moms get moving and reach big goals doing something for themselves . I haven't mapped out how that looks quite yet but I'm going to just keep trusting the lord and follow his lead with it. I truly believe that running and a healthy lifestyle can bring much healing no matter how fast or far you take it . Creatively I'm ready to really start telling stories through my photography . The personal project I've had on hold all year is going to take a big priority next year , I'm sure my next post ( ending of a season part 2? ) will have plenty of the details.
To everyone that has been part of this journey of 2017 with me ( I would list everyone but I know you're already tired of reading this and it would add at least 4 more minutes) every single one of you is loved and treasured and I couldn't have done it without you.
So that's a wrap . 2017 will forever be the year I let go and gave the glory to the one who deserves it all. The year these Mom x3 legs miraculously moved through three marathons and qualified for the Boston marathon twice in 4 months. May 2018 be filled with lots of precious family memories and being an encourager for other women , showing them that they are stronger than they even know <3
-B
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Love it! You inspire me everyday!
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